In 2009 I lived on a wildlife sanctuary in Kenya. For three months, I slept alone in a safari tent and every night a pride of lions gathered outside my tent and roared. I was lonely and scared. I made sure not to drink any fluids with dinner, so I wouldn’t have to walk to the bathroom hut after dark.

Last week I published my first official newsletter, and the topic was Gratitude. It’s Thanksgiving, so I thought I’d take the chance to expand on that a bit.

But first...

A pride of lions at sunset, waiting to see what mom brings home for dinner... I hope it's not me!

After a month of sleepless nights, the lions moved on and my terror subsided... Until one day I had to take a trip to Nairobi, by myself, on public transit. For non-getting-eaten-by-lion reasons, people traveling between cities didn’t move around after dark: car-jacking at gunpoint. An actual, for-real threat. Crazy, right? Again, I was scared. I left in the early morning; took my trip and was greeted at my destination by a friendly face. All went well, and at the end of my third month, I came home to Toronto. 

What does this have to do with Gratitude? 

Sometimes, when my mind is racing with the to-do list, current events, irritations, or worries about the future, I get out my journal and do a simple activity: I write five things I’m grateful for, and five things I appreciate about myself. 

Ten things is a lot, and sometimes I run out of ideas. And it’s in that moment, I find myself writing, “I am grateful for living in a safe city where I can move around freely, without threat.” Even though it’s something I hardly ever think about, when it comes up on my list, the feeling in my heart is an overwhelming WOW. I am so lucky. 

So what does gratitude have to do with weddings & family photography? 

Getting there! You see, it has to do with life. In my attempt to be proactive about emotional health, I got into this little gratitude ritual and discovered that it actually works! It’s great for any time… But if nothing else, times of stress are when it’s most helpful. And let’s be real: holidays, family time, and big life changes and events (i.e. weddings) are both WONDERFUL and STRESSFUL.

Try This Out: 

• Grab a piece of paper and write 1-10 things you’re grateful for

• If you can think of 1, 3, 5 or 15, that’s okay

• Try this at night right before you sleep.

Looking across the savannah, at Lewa Wildlife Conservancy. One of the most challenging and transformative three months of my life. 

I am forever grateful for the opportunity to go to Kenya. Despite the fear and loneliness, I learned what I was made of that summer. My eyes were opened to issues ranging from global poverty, cutting edge environmental and community development projects, to what it means to have white privilege. At the same time, I made interesting friends and had indescribable adventures exploring the savannah.

Click Connect below to let me know what you think and read a description of my newsletter offerings right here. 

Hello friends,

I wanted to give you a heads up that I've started a newsletter! Yes, indeed, I have lots to say. :) If you're curious about the content, here's a link to past issues, here's a link to subscribe, and below are my reasons for this endeavour: 

There are two phrases I constantly hear in my work:

“The whole wedding day went by in a flash – I can’t even remember it!”

“Kids grow up so fast – I can’t believe they started school this year!”

Both of these express the same concern: being present and experiencing life as it’s happening.

I created the newsletter with tips to help you Be in the moment during life's big (and small) moments, and not miss out.

Whether you’re worried about being too stressed to enjoy your wedding, or shocked that your child isn’t a baby anymore, I got you. Using simple techniques of reflection, gratitude, breathing, and photography, you can be there to appreciate all the stages of life. 

Subscribers to the newsletter also get exclusive access to printed gifts and promotions, as well as first rights to popular session dates throughout the year. Pretty awesome, right? If you're thinking, "Yes – I'm into this!" then here's what to expect...

Two short letters per month with:

• Right of first refusal to popular weekend sessions
• Concise tips on mindfulness & emotional presence
• Exclusive package offerings, printed gifts & promotions
• A link to new work or a few photos to brighten your day...

The laws of the land: 

• Only 2 emails each month
• I will never share your contact info
• Opt-out any time by clicking unsubscribe

Judgment-Free Territory

If you no longer want to be a "citizen" of Sweetheart Empire, just unsubscribe. I'll still think of you as a citizen of though, because that's just how I roll. Also, I don't judge because inboxes are cray-cray so only say yes to what brings you Joy (at least for newsletters).

The real reason to get to know your photographer

One of my best friends just gave birth to identical twins. Like, genetically identical. Before they were born she read blogs about the different ways parents of twins deal with telling the babies apart. Apparently this is a legitimate concern! But true to the nature of parenthood, once the mini-muffins arrived all her concerns were alleviated (well, not ALL of them… I mean she does have two newborn babies to take care of). “I feel like I can already see the difference in their personalities,” she sighed lovingly...

Is the lack of sleep making her delusional? Is it the narcotic love-drug making her hallucinate!? I don’t think so. Because, when you get to know someone, you see their uniqueness. Even if they share the same looks and mannerisms as someone else, when you know them-- you See Them. You just do.

No big surprise, it’s the same for weddings.

Getting ready is a family affair...

...babies, best friends, sisters...

...and who can forget our furry friends!

I have photographed more than 180 weddings. More than once I’ve been asked, “Don’t you get bored? All weddings are the same.” Well now! The asker of this question soon finds out I’m not as cynical as all that (LOL have you even met me??)!

But I have a proven technique to remedy this exact situation: I get to know people. 

When you know someone, you see their uniqueness and it's the same for weddings

As the person documenting your wedding my goal is to know you, so when I see your wedding I see your specialness (yes, the way your mom sees you).

I have witnessed age-old cultural traditions again and again. I’ve watched wedding trends in décor, cakes, dresses and music come and go. I’ve listened to countless readings, vows, speeches and roasts. And I still get teary-eyed. I won’t lie – I can tell who’s speaking from the heart versus who googled “Best Man Speech” but that’s ok. Not everyone is born to be a toast-master. 

Some things are only funny...

to the one who knows you best.

Every wedding is different because couples and families are different, once you get to know them. And all wedding photographers are different too.

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.” – Henry David Thoreau

Unbeknownst to most of us, all we can see is who we are. I photograph how I see you. The next photographer has different experiences, different values, a different worldview. They can only capture how they see you.

When you know a person, you see them for who they are. My goal is to build relationships with my clients so I can see the unique beauty of their wedding, no matter what.

Mel & Roy chartered a streetcar to transport their closest friends across Toronto in style!

Cocktail hour scavenger hunt on a farm in Price Edward County...

...or cocktails at Hotel Ocho in downtown Toronto.

Ashley wore the wedding dress of her mother & grandmother before her... but had it altered into a summer party dress for her outdoor wedding at the Aberfoyle Mill.

David & Saraya's celebrations included Armenian, Chinese & Nordic traditions, and a hot pair of Louboutins!

Guests always find ways to amuse themselves...

...including the groom's parents requesting a "paddle" pic during ping-pong hour at SPiN.

Getting to know your photographer isn't about whether they like cats or dogs (cats), or long walks on the beach. Building a relationship can mean the difference between having authentic documentation of your wedding or ending up with cookie-cutter images just like everyone else's. So let's get to know each other over the next couple years. Let's fall in love. 

My boyfriend used to wish he had one of those portable flashing lights for the top of the car, for two situations: when I had my period, and when I was hungry. Though there are limited options for wedding day menstruation (hmm, definitely a potential article there), when it comes to avoiding the "hangry" wedding day, your options are many! 

This article contains two simple tips, and one wedding day to-do list of what to pack to stay fresh all day: 

Click here to see how Rosemary kept everyone well-fed at her Camp Manitou Wedding!

Even for the chillest couples, the wedding is a big day. When was the last time you invited all your people to come and look and talk to you all at once? It's wedding-day-hangry just waiting to happen! Besides the emotional/spiritual/life milestone taking place, you’ve got a lot to think about and that takes energy. 

Drink water to keep your energy up!  

Many brides are afraid they’ll have to pee and avoid drinking water on the wedding day. Don’t do that! 

Staying hydrated will help you keep your energy up. I know, from the experience of shooting weddings, water gives you a boost and keeps your endurance up so you can smile allllllllllll day long (and still party into the night). 

Also, it’ll make you smell better: you might get nervous and sweat a lot, but if you stay hydrated your body and your breath will thank you! (A quick googling of dehydration and body odour/bad breath can tell you why.)   

Have snacks on hand! 

Nothing brings on irritability, anxiety, and exhaustion like low blood sugar. Don’t leave it to chance when it comes to staying in a good mood on your wedding day!

Keep snacks on hand for yourself and houseguests, i.e. bridesmaids getting ready at your place. Besides brunch, make sure there are snacks you can force yourself to eat if you get too nervous or stressed out for a full meal.  

Things to consider / pack: 

• Straws for sipping, to protect lipstick

• Lipstick touch-up colour from makeup artist, for after she’s left.

• Smoothie or liquid meal that you can sip (alternate with water if you get a dry mouth)

• Small bites of fruit & some sort of bib – no blackberry juice on the wedding dress!

• Granola bars (soft as opposed to hard and crumbly)

• Halloween-sized chocolate bars or small cookies in a zip-lock

• Yoghurt drinks (get that probiotic in while you're at it ;))

• Juice boxes

• Wet wipes for hands

• Someone you trust, who’s as obsessive as you are, to check that there’s no food in your teeth. None of this “you’re fine you’re fine” when they haven’t even looked!

Basically, you need food and drink that takes minimum effort to open, and can be carried with you. And possibly a case of water bottles for your bridal party/family, if you are traveling together in a limo or having a big photo session somewhere away from immediate access to water… Especially in the summer, guys!!! Please! I know plastic water bottles are terrible for the environment, but this is one of those times you might forget your S’well.  

Click here to see how Sahrah & Aaron fed their wedding party, mid-photo session!

You got this!!

Between morning coffee with your BFFs, and a champagne toast (or three) you need to keep your wits about you. You don’t want to get drunk or shaky, right before you say “I do”. Take care your body with water and snacks, and no portable flashing lights will be needed! 

Look beautiful, no food in teeth, laughing head off... Check!

In the past 7 years of shooting weddings, I’ve seen a few near-disaster photography moments. Here are some questions you might not know about an unplugged wedding. 

If you’re asking yourself, “should I have an unplugged ceremony?” the answer is YES. Here are two reasons why:

1.    You want awesome wedding photos – not just good enough.
2.    You want your guests to be emotionally present for your ceremony – the most meaningful & important part of the wedding day.

the best wedding photos possible: 

I once heard someone say, “a good professional photographer should be able to work around guests with phones”. Sure, of course we can. But is that good enough? Do you want a photographer who 'did their very best... in mediocre circumstances'?

Of course not! You want them to cry, “it was magical – everyone was in the moment – it was the most touching ceremony I’ve ever seen!!” 

Yes, it is possible to move around and re-compose an image, when there’s time and opportunity. I can creatively crop out guests and cameras, block them behind furniture, avoid the phone-lookers altogether, or throw them out of focus... But let’s be real; the photos won't be as wonderful as they could have been. Seeing a happy, teary-eyed best friend beaming at the bride, as she walks down the aisle, just isn’t the same when she's surrounded by phones and iPads.

“Seeing a happy, teary-eyed best friend beaming at the bride, as she walks down the aisle, just isn’t the same when she’s surrounded by phones and iPads.”

Now, I do my fair share of diving and dashing in order to "get the shot" – it’s my job. But I don’t want to distract, block, or disturb anyone, as you stand up there and say your vows. I don’t want to run hither-and-tither through your guests, because an eager uncle has suddenly popped up in front of me, or someone’s phone randomly jabs into my line of view... I move as quietly as possible – often only when others are moving (i.e. guests going from sitting to standing). This is something that photo-enthusiast guests do not consider. Weddings are inherently intimate, no matter the size. So discretion and respect are also part of my job, and something that distinguishes a professional wedding photographer from an amateur. 

“Weddings are inherently intimate, no matter the size, so discretion and respect are also part of my job.”

Also, there are moments when there just isn’t time or space for extra maneuvers. The ceremony is the one part of the day you can’t do-over. If a guest unthinkingly moves into my field of view at the last second, then it’s possible to miss an important moment. Photographers are given rules by the officiant about where they’re allowed to go, and where not, and they obey as much as possible. But guests aren’t given this information. There might be a tight spot where it’s the only angle I can capture your facial expression, and in the background is a person holding up a huge camera (or just staring at their phone in their lap).

Noooo! Don't even picture it! 

Breathe. It doesn't have to happen to you. 

Being emotionally present for your wedding ceremony:

The second reason for an unplugged wedding is much more simple. You've invited a select group of people to witness your wedding ceremony. As much as we think we can multi-task, brains just aren’t wired that way. Let your people put down their devices, and be there with you. When you look out at the crowd, see their eyes shining up at you, and feel the love – the hope and excitement and possibility and romance, and the feeling of family and friends, and hearts overflowing. It’s only 30 minutes, but what a gift.

In the future, when your guests actually remember that moment, and they have beautiful, candid images of themselves (that the professional photographers captured) they will be happy and grateful, and so will you.

Click here to see:

Reviews – Weddings

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