One of my recent goals has been to do something that feeds my creative soul at least once per week. For me this means exposure to other creative beings through the arts, science, and even politics. So a few weeks ago I went to see the Arcade Fire Reflektor Tour at Toronto's Air Canada Centre. I haven’t been to a big arena show like that since wearing purple to Prince almost ten years ago - and it was wonderful!

Jasper & Kate Arcade Fire Reflektor

Oh, the night... Everyone was dressed up ~ the Music ~ the Lights ~ the Energy ~ the Crowd ~ It was magical, and exactly what my soul needed. We were high up in the stands, dancing dancing dancing all evening, and it was amazing to see the whole stadium from above cheering and singing.

I have always loved the Arcade Fire. Their music is truly the kind that can relate to your life – and when you hear that song you’re taken right back to where you were the first time you fell in love with it.

~ One of my most vivid memories of this "flashback" experience was from 2006: walking into a tiny seaside bar in Ecuador, salty and sunburnt and happy, and hearing Arcade Fire playing on the stereo - music from home.  A later album reminds me of going through a break up - when one of my best friends played me an Arcade Fire song to cheer me up. I ended up listening to it on repeat for weeks... It’s that kind of music – a real life soundtrack that gets into your bones. ~

What are you doing this week to feed your soul?

How excited was I, when I was contacted by Elle Daftarian (event planner / dessert maker / mom extraordinaire) to do a portrait session on location at her new bakery.

I was even more thrilled to find out that the images would be used for the cover story of Persian Tribune Magazine! I went to the gorgeous little shop at Broadview and Queen and was instantly taken in. Elle has an eye for beauty that I won't attempt to describe in words - just take a look for yourself.

I photographed the adorable party for Elle's daughter's first communion. It was great to meet her team again and witness their creativity in action, which apparently involves a lot of joking around and a substantial intake of baked goods... Here are the images from our day:

Click here to see more of Elle Daftarian's beautiful sweets, at Sophia's fabulous First Communion party!

There are some times in life when I’m honest with myself – maybe I’ve had too little sleep, or it's low blood sugar or PMS – whatever it is… But something clicks over and I let my barriers down enough to be honest. And I hear this voice in my head saying, “I just wanna be free." I ask myself, “Am I free?”

Why do I feel this way? I have all my rights and freedoms. I’m a middle class, white Canadian, university educated, blah blah blah… what do I know about not being free?

But my soul has this craving for liberation, and all I want is to fly high up into the sky and scream at the top of my lungs.

Skydiving, Barrie Ontario

Once in 2005, I went skydiving (okay, I went three times but that’s another story). I stepped out under the wing of that plane, and flung myself into the sky at a measly 4000 feet. All by myself, alone. The static line jump. After the shoot opened and I found myself peacefully floating above the breathtaking view of the greater Barrie area (if you detect a slight hint of irony here, you’re wrong and not wrong all at once – everything looks perfect from far away), I was actually and literally speechless for moments. Moments and moments and moments. Like, whatever – I have no idea how long it takes to do a 4000 foot jump – probably not long. But anyway, I was free. I floated silently for some amount of time and then suddenly remembered that this was worth celebrating.

So I started to scream! I whooped and hollered, and hooted and howled, and felt like I was Jonathan Livingston and that nothing could stop me.

As I mentioned, it’s a whole other story about how I got my feet back on solid ground… But let me ask you right now:

Are you free? Are we??

Because there’s something inside you that needs to be let out; let go; let be; and set free.

Ask yourself at this moment, “What can I do to be free for just one second, right now?” And do it.

'Cause when that craving fades you’ll be back in the Matrix and, not that there’s anything wrong with that but, wouldn’t you rather be alive for just one second (and have everyone around you think you’re a weirdo) than let that feeling pass for another day?

If the answer you said is 'no', just ignore yourself and listen to me instead: yes! Go and strike a victory pose, or howl at the moon, or call your fiancée and tell her you freaking love her, or dance a little jig, or buy that plane ticket. In two seconds you’ll convince yourself back to conformity and you’ll have to wait until tomorrow (/ next week / next month / next year) for freedom to present itself again.

Written from an open place.

Love,

Kate

hello@sweetheartempire.com

So it’s mid-January and I'm finally writing a 2013 year review... There is much to say. A year ago I was obsessively researching websites for Sweetheart Empire's portfolio. For those of you unfamiliar with the phenomenon of “obsessively researching” I'm talking about Procrastination. I studied all sorts of stuff until finally – for whatever combination of reasons – I snapped out of the fog and took action.

I started even though I felt I wasn’t ready… And everything began to fall into place. A year later I have experienced the following list of awesomeness.

Neither chronologically, nor in order of importance, in 2013 I:

• Launched my own website and had to stand by my work all on my own

• Experienced weeks and months [on and off] of debilitating fear of rejection and failure, self-torture, doubt, excitement, and more fear

• Flew to Las Vegas (first time) alone for eight days, and attended WPPI – the world’s largest wedding photography conference

• Had a portfolio review by José Villa (I was starstruck, and had to concentrate so hard on controlling my facial expression that I almost forgot to listen to the feedback)

• Attended a Jesh de Rox workshop, had my mind blown, and felt that I had found “my people”

• Meditated and worshipped the new moon with belly-dancers, yogis, philosophers, MBA students, and other such wandering souls

• For the first time, a couple booked their wedding date based on my availability (and sent me a delicious babka to boot!)

Jose Villa, Nico Koenig and Babka

• Celebrated my mum’s 70th birthday in the same week that I found out my sister was pregnant

• Experienced, from afar, the death of my nana and my uncle

• Had a broken heart

• Faced things about myself that I had been trying to ignore for many years

• Experienced moments of self-acceptance so profound that words couldn’t explain the shocking peace of it

• Relapsed back into judging and then judged myself for being judgmental

• Began to work with some of my favourite photographers in the city, and was astoundingly lucky to learn and grow both professionally and emotionally from this

• Co-produced my first video testimonial

• Photographed my first magazine cover (and spread!)

• Shot my cousin’s incredible wedding in Manhattan, and got to know family members who have lived in Ireland all my life

• Assisted in the delivery of my sister’s beautiful daughter - indescribably life-changing.

Manhattan, Persian Tribune & Elle Daftarian, Baby Aisling

• Met several new soul-sisters and reconnected with old ones

• Made many mistakes, stayed up late nights, relapsed into perfectionist-procrastination, doubted my decisions, let down my loved ones, over-booked and over-worked, missed many birthdays, hunched over my computer for too many hours

• Started doing yoga again, dancing more, singing louder in the shower, going for walks around the park, and making green smoothies

• Forgave

• Took another Jesh de Rox workshop and consequently started training in Beloved Technique

• Had my first interview published online

• Made the commitment to only work with people I feel a connection with

• Doubted my commitment and felt scared

• Read Seth’s opinion on choosing who you work for, and felt good again

• Then booked several awesome new clients who I totally feel the connection with!

Silverline Studios, Jasper Savage, Jesh de Rox, Sunset

...and finally, the topic to which this website is dedicated… In 2013:

• I got to know amazing couples who put their faith in me, and allowed me to witness their strengths, vulnerabilities, and unique expressions of love and family.

• And felt so overwhelmingly grateful that there was no appropriately powerful hashtag… so I kept it for myself, in my heart.

No doubt this is the same year most people experienced. Possibly with fewer bouts of neuroses – though really it’s just the "normal" neuroses, I like to think. Anyway, come on - the emotional roller-coaster is pretty okay!

So. Now is not the time to list my resolutions – you're all listed-out for today. But I do hope to start posting some of the many beautiful moments that took place, here on the blog, and I hope you will join me for more adventures this year.

Follow @SweetheartEmpire on Instagram to catch a glimpse of the Empire, or just reach out to me and let's have a chat. Happy 2014!

Sincerely,

Kate

Are you a Dabbler? For a long long long long time I felt like there was something wrong with me. I had interests. I’d pursue them and find, more often than not, that things came pretty easy. Then as I moved up the scale in knowledge/experience, the difficulty would increase, the improvement would slow down, and my interest would Suddenly be sparked by something else.

I remember in college, half way through Applied Photography, I complained to a friend, “I just can’t seem to focus…” Undoubtedly this elicited a dorky photography joke about auto-focus and we all laughed. But my frustration was all too familiar.

After graduating with great marks and working in the commercial photography industry for a few years (as a half-hearted assistant more interested in the catering cart than studio lighting), I found myself at York University studying International Development and Spanish… for a while.

“Why am I like this?” “What is wrong with me?” “When will I find my path? What am I meant to be doing?”

I’d start something new and do great. Then over-confident, I’d slack off, stop doing great, and get “bored”. I've dabbled in just about everything. But until recently I could never PUSH it; I could never cross the threshold into expertise.

I am now 32 years old, and I can say for the first time in about 20 years I have found a path. I’m not saying it wont change – change is inevitable, and the only thing you can truly count on is unpredictability – but what I feel now is definitely different.

I have decided to write a series about this process - my continuing journey of becoming an independent entrepreneur.

Following your passion is not easy. I hope my experiences speak to you as you work towards your own dreams. Comment below, or just contact me straight up for support, a laugh, or a shoulder to cry on… (seeing as this is one of the scariest trips there is, crying does occur.) Because when you're putting your vulnerable side out in front of the world, it helps to know that you're not alone.