Ed's Real Scoop, Game of Cones

10:30pm and I just got back from a dinner meeting with Ervin and Grace. I have a strong opinion on why it's important to get to know your wedding photographer. I often try to meet with a couple before their wedding to review their questionnaire together. I call it a "pre-wedding consultation" - very professional and official. Sometimes things are too hectic so we do it over the phone… But other times the gods smile, the chemistry is right, and white wine spritzers and chocolate get involved.

Grace and Ervin came into Leslieville and we went to a local bistro for fish tacos, burgers, and bangers & mash. We spread out on the comfy bench seat and made ourselves at home.

Recently they each travelled out of the country (separately). The cutest: they both documented their travels including everything they ate, on their iPhones, to show one another. Whenever my friends travel one of my first questions is “How was the food – did you find any good restaurants?” So of course when asked, Grace whipped out her phone and started describing delicious berries with their explosive taste – perfect for waffles with whipped cream; Ervin showed us the rare selections of Japanese cuisine that only those more daring foodies would taste…  Much ooh-ing and ahh-ing was heard from our table.

“I don’t usually take pictures of food – actually I think it’s kind of silly,” Grace explained. “But for this, since we weren’t together, I wanted to show Ervin everything.” Um, so sweet.

What a fine evening! After dinner we walked down the street to Ed’s Real Scoop and indulged in some ice cream and gelato goodness. It was a warm evening, with a nice breeze, and we sat on the bench outside chatting about work, life, following your passion, cute dogs, food, Game of Thrones and Grey’s Anatomy (specifically around the topic of yelling at one's television set in shock/scandalization)...

I am so excited for Grace and Ervin’s wedding, but also in this very moment I am just grateful that I’ve found a path where I get to share and enjoy some life with human beings; celebrate, laugh, connect, make friends.

Wedding photography is not just about shooting, editing, printing. It is sharing in a rite of passage with families, hopeful and proud parents, and friends. It’s also often a collaboration with couples who have found an outlet for their own creativity and passion to emerge. It is the prime of life, no matter their age. It is humbling and simply a blessing to be a part of.

While you're waiting for the wedding, feel free to check out Ervin and Grace's gorgeous University of Toronto engagement photos.

My parents at their wedding in Dublin Ireland, 1977.

I phoned my parents to let them know that I was using one of their wedding photos on my website. A few days later my mum called me back and said something so unexpected and insightful that I had to write it down! On the webpage you can see that my dad is wearing a necklace. My parents decided to exchange necklaces instead of rings at their wedding ceremony, and a couple years later the necklaces disappeared. They had been kept in a jewelry box at our house in Dublin, Ireland. It is suspected they were stolen, but whatever happened they were never seen again.

“You know the way you take photos of all those little details at weddings – we didn’t do that in those days,” my mum explained. “You never saw the necklaces...” She described the details to me – a sterling silver eagles’ claw with a small turquoise stone.

Me and my Papa on the beach, circa 1981.

Being one of the youngest in our extended family, there’s a lot of history that stretches beyond my memory. For example, my Papa O’Connor died when I was two, so the only way I remember him is from tales my dad tells us, and pictures from our family vacation…

I would love to see the necklaces that my parents exchanged on their wedding day. I still don't know what they really looked like.

You never know what challenges life will present, but this phone call was a poignant reminder of why a wedding photographer is so important. The documentation of meaningful moments, and actual wedding details, could be the only way you pass on your family history.

Whether it’s the folks who raised you or the family you’ve built, the stories that we create are what make life. Humans use rituals and artifacts to create culture and weddings are a true expression of this.

Do you have a photo or symbolic item in your life?

Being Present at your Wedding

You may wonder why I care so much about all this “being in the now” stuff for your wedding.

The busier we get in life the faster it goes. No one ever laid on their deathbed and said “I wish I’d spent more time at the office.” ...But what if “the office" was truly delightful? I spend a lot of my life on my clients' wedding photography experience, so I want the process to be meaningful both for them and for me. I want us to look back on the years working together and remember our time laughing and being inspired.

What this is getting at is How to be present in your life, how to connect with the people around you, and how to experience joy – in its fleeting moments.

I practice this myself and, just like finding a good book or a fabulous restaurant, I want others to experience it too. Especially for those big moments in life like a wedding!

I wont lie to you – this is a work in progress.

Last year I sat in a coffee shop with a client-turned-friend after her wedding and she told me “I was so obsessed on my wedding day – I must have driven you crazy! All I could think about was the photos. I just wanted everything to look perfect.”

We discussed this and realized that the ceremony was the only part of the day when she was completely present in what was happening… and you can see it in the pictures. We looked through her wedding photographs and commented on the images from the church – “they look so holy” she smiled a secret smile at the memory.

And she looks so serene. She looks like she’s come home; this is the place where she is supposed to be, and this is the man she is supposed to be with. All is well. All questions are answered in this moment. It shows.

After that conversation I vowed to make it a goal in my business, for my clients: presence. It’s an ongoing effort for all of us. If we can be awake and be together then we are living.

How do you stay in the moment? If you have tips or comments, please share them below!

"Day 6: Tell us about a time when you surprised yourself."

Soooo, incase you haven't noticed, I'm sort of... not so mainstream, I guess? Names I have lovingly been called include: crunchy granola, starseed, [dirty] hippie, politically correct, and nerd to name a few (specifically "nerd classic, not nerd-chic").

I took anti-oppression training in university, where I was studying International Development. I worked for two years in a feminist collective for Sexual Assault Survivors. I worry about climate change and income inequality and the field-to-table movement and the school-to-prison-pipeline. You know what I mean. I'm “one of those people”.... Or am I??

Soooo, a few years ago, I went to my very first photography conference. It was the huge WPPI Las Vegas (Wedding and Portrait Photographers International). In order to save some cash, I stayed across the street from the conference at, ahem, Hooters. Yes, the "Hooters Las Vegas Resort and Casino". No, no, you didn't hear me wrong. Hooters has a casino, and I stayed there for eight nights. Oh, did I mention I went alone?

Hooters Las Vegas Casino & Resort Pool

Hooters Las Vegas Hotel

I spent eight days and nights alone in Las Vegas and I loved every minute of it. Surprise! I crashed a private party in a hotel across town. Surprise! I won $200 at blackjack, and told my table mates that the secret was to play the chips "boobs up" (Hooters' chips have sexy ladies on them). Surprise!

Sooo, what is the lesson here? Don’t label yourself, my friend! Someday you may go somewhere that, in theory, goes against everything you stand for… and you might just love it! Maybe it won't be a physical place; you'll "go there" and try something you never thought you'd do, and it’ll be the best!

You might think you're one way but you're every way. We all can be anything... Malcolm X taught me that, and so did Vegas. Surprise.

Lazers and Blazers WPPI 2013

Lazers and Blazers WPPI party

WPPI 2013 Lazers and Blazers

Below is the blog entry I sent to today's "Your Turn Challenge". By the time I hit the "submit" button, there was less than one minute remaining. I never knew I could type so fast... It's only a few words, but I think it says a lot. Day 5: What advice would you give for getting unstuck?

Five minutes to midnight and I have to think of something to write!

The best way to get unstuck, apparently, is to give yourself less time! Imagine - everything takes as long as the time you give it. Instead of wasting an hour on this post, as I did with my last one, I throw perfectionism out the window and go for fast. When do you want to be done by? Give yourself half the time, and get unstuck.

Beat perfectionism procrastination