#39daysofselfcare Day 3: Allowing Difficult Feelings
DAY 3 OF MY 39-DAY SELF-CARE CHALLENGE
This morning I woke up and noticed I was kind of pissed off. I was lying in bed, thinking about two recent incidents where people’s behaviour had made me feel irritated.
As I replayed “what happened” in my head, I felt anger bubbling up again.
Suddenly I stopped. 🛑 Why was I re-living those moments? After ALL the mindset coaching I’ve done, I know that thoughts create feelings. And some feelings are TOXIC - you can literally feel the stress hormones pumping through your body as the thoughts occur.
I took a breath and paused to ask myself a few questions. I realized that these two events: 1. Were both in the past. 2. Had been discussed and resolved between us, as best we could.
I took stock and saw that I had expressed my displeasure, set my boundaries, made efforts to understand the other person’s reaction, and had also taken steps to separate my own responsibility and feelings...
So why did I wake up thinking about it?
I realized I hadn’t SWAMPED.
Swamping is a concept I learned when studying in New York, at the School of Womanly Arts, to help you work your emotions out of your body. Yes, your BODY.
I could think my way out of almost anything, but thinking is not always enough. 🤔We live in a human body that experiences, stores, and remembers all of our emotions... hence being able to feel when they’re pumping through your system.😤🤯🤬
If you can feel them entering, don’t you think you need to feel them exit, too??
We think in order to get over anger we need to relax, but it’s actually the other way around: we need to get the anger out IN ORDER TO relax. Swamping allows you to do this.
After I swamped, I felt great. In fact, I ended up dancing around my room and doing a strip tease in front of my bedroom mirror! 🔥💃🏻💦Ruminating on the past was the LAST thing on my mind. 🤣 I headed into my day with a glow and a heart full of gratitude.
Have you heard of this? How do you get your feelings out?
I’m including this in my #39daysofselfcare challenge. Why? Because if you’re not used to allowing “difficult” feelings, some people can find the idea of swamping terrifying... But I consider it one of the most pleasurable forms of self-care I know 😍 I’d love to hear your thoughts!
If you don't have time to attend The Course for Brides, here are three instant things a bride-to-be can start doing now, to look beautiful, have an awesome time, and stay connected in the present moment at your wedding.
After a lifetime of being a Master Procrastinator I share my journey to healing. I no longer procrastinate. I am now a recovering procrastinator and you can be too.
How do you get in touch with your feelings? Get out of your head and into your body through DANCE. Dancing has helped me heal, gotten me in touch with my higher self, and changed my daily routine. I highly recommend knee pads, because well, knees are so great to have around.
How do you learn to love yourself? It takes years of practice. I used this one little mantra to change my mind and heart, and now I have proof that it paid off.
39 Days of Self Care: A challenge for coping with wedding stress, approving of yourself where you’re at, self-love, self celebration, and being your very best, AS YOU ARE!!
It’s normal to get in a fight before your engagement photos! Here are some tips for mentally preparing for your engagement session.
Life moves so quickly! Here are 3 easy steps for using reflection, stopping time, and getting the most out of your day-to-day moments.
With the sad passing of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain this week, there have been a lot of posts these few days about depression and suicide. It's hard for people to understand how those who "Have it all" could take their own life. But I totally understand how they could. So I want to share my story of depression and recovery.
On gratitude. Tony Robbins says you can't experience anger and gratitude at the same time. Is it true? Find out now! This is an excerpt from my best-selling, breakout newsletter, The Empire Citizen!
Make a gratitude list. You'll be surprised at what comes to mind. Personally, I was reminded of my life in Kenya, and having hungry lions for neighbours...
Sign up for The Empire Citizen, the official newsletter of Sweetheart Empire. Enjoy mindfulness tips, promotional offers, and general joie-de-vivre + nerdiness from me, Kate O'Connor.
Getting to know your photographer can mean the difference between having authentic documentation of your wedding or ending up with cookie-cutter images just like everyone else's. Come, let me love you.
Don't get hangry at your wedding! Two simple tips, plus a wedding day to-do list of what to pack to stay physically and mentally fresh.
Thinking of an unplugged wedding ceremony? Here are some questions you might not have thought to ask! In the past 7 years of shooting weddings, I’ve seen a few near-disaster photography moments...
My parents exchanged necklaces instead of wedding rings, and a few years later they disappeared. There are no photos documenting them but they live on in memory.
Mindfulness, being present, staying in "the now"... Why does it matter? Thoughts from a bride who lost sight of the reason for her wedding.
I spent 8 days in the Hooters Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas... By myself.... And I loved it.
I flew to San Francisco & stayed in the home of clients I'd never met before. We ate sushi and french toast and nerded out... And yes, they made out a couple times.