Day 15 of my 39-day self-care challenge

These (below) are knee pads. I bought them the week before I went to my first weekend intensive at the School of Womanly Arts. I first tried them out years ago, in pole dancing classes at a place called Felinity (it’s gone now but it was run by a genius woman called Alyson Joy, and💥it💥was💥so💥good💥).

The knee pads are for dancing, for anyone who’s confused. As a tall & un-sporty person, I’ve had sensitive knees since always. AND I’ve always loved to dance.

So you can only imagine how much pleasure, movement & FREEDOM this equipment has brought to my world.

I highly recommend knee pads for everyone. Fashion designers, if you could incorporate these into pants and then those pants become wildly popular so we can all go about life being comfortable/supported, that would be great, thanks.

Seriously, though. Listen up:
Every single morning I dance. I put these on my legs & dance in standing, kneeling, crawling & lying position, all over my whole house.

As I’ve mentioned, the neighbours already think I’m nuts, so all is well.
Unless you’re already a dancer, you can’t fathom how important this is for mental health.

Yes, exercise is important. Pilates yoga gym swimming boxing sports, yes yes of course! Even the running... I know you runners love your horrible torturous activity (lol jk I have so much respect for you).

But to dance is a different type of movement.

To dance is to get exercise & so much more: expression, release, inspiration, awakening & surprises galore.

Dancing puts you in touch with your body AND your soul. Dancing starts in the deepest darkest part of you & moves from in to out, growing you taller wider deeper. Dancing connects your masculine and feminine. Dancing unlocks the secrets keeping you sick. Dancing is ALL of your senses engaged, sight sound touch taste smell, libido, memory, imagination & the part of you that is God.
I call her Goddess.

Try this, on top of the personal development you’re doing: dance to 1-3 songs that turn you on every day for the next 5 days.

And if you are in a bad place, start with a song that reflects how you feel, then turn on.

Let me know what happens, bc I GUARANTEE something will.

Resources:
Sheila Kelley’s S-Factor (USA cities and online!)
The Femme! Experience (USA cities & Toronto)
Brass Vixens (Toronto Pole Dance)

Day 1 of my 39-day self-care challenge

How many days until your wedding?? Are you excited? Nervous?? Stressed out??? Or absolutely fucking ready? Do you GLOW? If you want to, you may want to join this 39-day challenge! It’s absolutely FREE. You can start any time. And if you don’t have 39 days to go before your wedding — CONGRATULATIONS — you need this even more!! Read on for details:

I have decided to start a 39 day challenge: To do one thing everyday for 39 days, in the name of self-care, self-approval and self-celebration! I want people to do it with me. 🥂 Will you??

Okay, WHY am I doing this?

Well, life can throw a lot of shit our way.

Normal stressors, boring and mundane crappy stuff, and also tragedy – personal, political, intimate, and international.

Other times life is great.

Both are temporary.

But they never feel that way, do they!? Like, when things are awesome, and then the awesomeness ends, it feels terrible and shocking, like something’s wrong. Oh, the accumulated YEARS of shame, “what is WRONG with me??” I would wonder. What is WRONG.

And when things are bad, it can feel like the shit will never end.

But it does.

Learning to embrace this emotional roller coaster is a relatively NEW skill for me, in my 39 years. Actually realizing that nothing was wrong, and that feeling both good and bad is RIGHT (hi, and welcome to being Human!)… was a huge, life-changing epiphany for me.

One of the ways I got there was being put on a strict diet of self-approval, self-pleasure, and self-care.

And no, I’m not talking “eat a bucket of ice-cream and spend $-I-don’t-have on retail therapy” self-care (although sometimes those things are ACTUALLY what a person needs, and then they are exactly right!).

I am talking about going through life and asking myself CONSTANTLY what I want; whether I am saying YES to shit I don’t want, NO to stuff I actually need, or whether I’ve even CONSIDERED my desires lately. 🤯😍

It’s as simple as that.

Making a habit of this practice has changed the way the Ups and Downs feel. It has changed the Okay-ness level of when amazing things end, and when sad, horrible, enraging, depressing, stressful, overwhelming things feel like they’ll NEVER end.

✨It has made life much easier.
✨It has made relationships, and money, and deadlines, and *online dating* easier.
✨It has even made Trump easier! (Still working on Ford though.)

And it is Fun. Remember FUN??? Fun is awesome.

So, my gorgeous friends, who is with me? Will anyone join in the fun? The instructions are easy:
✅Everyday ask yourself one or all of the below questions (at the bottom of this post)
✅Everyday do some thing – for a minute or an hour or a day – that fills up your cup
✅Let me know your thing. Here on this post.

Why do it with me? Um, obviously, because things are more FUN when we do them together! REMEMBER FUN????

These are the questions I’m asking these days, and the answers lead to my 39-Day Challenge Action Steps:

🤷🏻‍♀️What would make this enjoyable?
🤷🏼‍♀️Does this feel good?
🤷🏽‍♀️How can I make myself WANT to do this?
🤷🏿‍♀️Do I need a rest?
🤷🏻‍♂️What do I desire today? This week? This year? In life? In my fantasies???
🤷🏾‍♂️Is this a loving choice for me?

LET’S DO THIS! 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

Here are a couple screenshots of me dancing like the dorky Goddess I am, on my instagram post. If you’d like to check out the challenge (and join ANY TIME, for FREE!), check out my account, and search for the hashtag #39daysofselfcare. Post what you’re doing to love and care for yourself with the same # and we will cheer each other on!!

Most brides tell me that they basically want two things on their wedding day - they want to look beautiful and they want to throw a kick-ass party. And hey - for one of the biggest milestones of your life, I don't think that's too much to ask! I photographed Sarah & Pierre's wedding at The Bata Shoe Museum in Toronto, and I can tell you right now that Sarah lived the dream of every bride. Both she and Pierre were total knockouts; their friends and family were awesome; the party was unforgettable.

Sarah looked absolutely stunning on her wedding day. Her hair was styled by Judy Marini, and her makeup by Noemi Lavoie; surrounded by the special women and girls in her life, she seemed to almost glow.

Both the ceremony and cocktail reception were held at the museum, against a backdrop of floor to ceiling windows and a candle-lined staircase. It was an unexpectedly romantic setting, and the perfect stage for this highly emotional and joyful ceremony. I loved Sarah's look of triumph as she and Pierre were proclaimed husband and wife, by their Humanist officiant Mary Beaty.

Before the cocktails, we roamed through the museum. We had the whole place to ourselves, and it felt like being in a playground! It was also a fashion- and vintage-lover's haven, with shoes from all over the world, throughout the ages.

After all the preparation, ritual, reflection, food and drink... what came next was a party of epic proportions, and these people like to get down.

Sarah and Pierre met and fell in love very quickly. They experienced life in all of its craziness, and their passion and commitment to one another has only grown. To hear the touching words of their friends and family on this joyous occasion, and to feel the gratitude in the atmosphere for being present on that day... actually it still puts a lump in my throat, and I feel pretty honoured to have witnessed it.

Thank you Sarah and Pierre for including us in your amazing day.

Photographers: Kate O'Connor and Rudo Vacula

Thank you to the creative team! Caterer: Encore Food with Elegance DJ: Andrew Graham Hussey Dress Designer: Allure Bridal Dress Shop: Becker's Bridal Invitations: Adam Patterson Favours & Gifts: Donation to Family Institute for Breast Cancer Research, Princess Margaret Hospital Flowers: Margo's Flowers Makeup: Noemi Lavoie Men's Attire: Freeman Formalwear Venue (Ceremony, Reception, Décor): Bata Shoe Museum, Victoria Pereira