Day 1 of my 39-day self-care challenge

How many days until your wedding?? Are you excited? Nervous?? Stressed out??? Or absolutely fucking ready? Do you GLOW? If you want to, you may want to join this 39-day challenge! It’s absolutely FREE. You can start any time. And if you don’t have 39 days to go before your wedding — CONGRATULATIONS — you need this even more!! Read on for details:

I have decided to start a 39 day challenge: To do one thing everyday for 39 days, in the name of self-care, self-approval and self-celebration! I want people to do it with me. 🥂 Will you??

Okay, WHY am I doing this?

Well, life can throw a lot of shit our way.

Normal stressors, boring and mundane crappy stuff, and also tragedy – personal, political, intimate, and international.

Other times life is great.

Both are temporary.

But they never feel that way, do they!? Like, when things are awesome, and then the awesomeness ends, it feels terrible and shocking, like something’s wrong. Oh, the accumulated YEARS of shame, “what is WRONG with me??” I would wonder. What is WRONG.

And when things are bad, it can feel like the shit will never end.

But it does.

Learning to embrace this emotional roller coaster is a relatively NEW skill for me, in my 39 years. Actually realizing that nothing was wrong, and that feeling both good and bad is RIGHT (hi, and welcome to being Human!)… was a huge, life-changing epiphany for me.

One of the ways I got there was being put on a strict diet of self-approval, self-pleasure, and self-care.

And no, I’m not talking “eat a bucket of ice-cream and spend $-I-don’t-have on retail therapy” self-care (although sometimes those things are ACTUALLY what a person needs, and then they are exactly right!).

I am talking about going through life and asking myself CONSTANTLY what I want; whether I am saying YES to shit I don’t want, NO to stuff I actually need, or whether I’ve even CONSIDERED my desires lately. 🤯😍

It’s as simple as that.

Making a habit of this practice has changed the way the Ups and Downs feel. It has changed the Okay-ness level of when amazing things end, and when sad, horrible, enraging, depressing, stressful, overwhelming things feel like they’ll NEVER end.

✨It has made life much easier.
✨It has made relationships, and money, and deadlines, and *online dating* easier.
✨It has even made Trump easier! (Still working on Ford though.)

And it is Fun. Remember FUN??? Fun is awesome.

So, my gorgeous friends, who is with me? Will anyone join in the fun? The instructions are easy:
✅Everyday ask yourself one or all of the below questions (at the bottom of this post)
✅Everyday do some thing – for a minute or an hour or a day – that fills up your cup
✅Let me know your thing. Here on this post.

Why do it with me? Um, obviously, because things are more FUN when we do them together! REMEMBER FUN????

These are the questions I’m asking these days, and the answers lead to my 39-Day Challenge Action Steps:

🤷🏻‍♀️What would make this enjoyable?
🤷🏼‍♀️Does this feel good?
🤷🏽‍♀️How can I make myself WANT to do this?
🤷🏿‍♀️Do I need a rest?
🤷🏻‍♂️What do I desire today? This week? This year? In life? In my fantasies???
🤷🏾‍♂️Is this a loving choice for me?

LET’S DO THIS! 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

Here are a couple screenshots of me dancing like the dorky Goddess I am, on my instagram post. If you’d like to check out the challenge (and join ANY TIME, for FREE!), check out my account, and search for the hashtag #39daysofselfcare. Post what you’re doing to love and care for yourself with the same # and we will cheer each other on!!

After years together, Lesley & Maureen finally decided to make it official, tying the knot in 2014. They held a backyard party for friends and family, attended by their VERY popular pups - guests of honour - Bella & George. These two brides also made their own custom wedding rings at The Devil’s Workshop in Toronto, and celebrated with a chill afternoon of bubbly, laughter, and good times in the comfort of their own garden.

I love small weddings like this so much.

One of the best ways to avoid wedding stress – or reduce it altogether – is to only invite the closest of family and friends. Not only do you get a chance to spend time with your loved ones, but the pressure of being the centre of attention is also alleviated… Well, especially if you have adorable wedding doggies, like these two. And another way to decrease wedding stress is to have your wedding at home! I mean, Lesley and Maureen couldn’t have made it any easier on themselves!! But in addition, without all the extra pressures of pop and circumstance, a celebration like this allows everyone to focus their love on you completely. The feeling of intimacy amazing.

There’s nothing better than celebrating with your absolute nearest and dearest in the world. Happy Anniversary to this gorgeous family, with all my love!

Having a small wedding of less than 40 guests? For more intimate wedding ideas, check out:
Bebhinn & Ian’s wedding at Le Select Bistro
Laura & Jeff’s Toronto Island Wedding “Elopement”
Ariel & Thanh’s Destination Wedding in Jamaica

I met Ian years ago, when he got me a job at a coffee shop where he was working. While he soon left that shop to open his own store, Extra Butter Coffee, we stayed in touch and I was thrilled when Bebhinn (said like “bev-in”) contacted me about their wedding photos.

This was a magical wedding… An intimate affair at Le Select Bistro with a few close friends and family, including my sister! I was honoured to capture this very very very special day.

One of my favourite parts of the day was photographing Bebhinn & Ian at home getting ready together, with their adorable cat, Rolin. Rolin definitely suffers from FOMO (fear-of-missing-out) and wanted to be wherever the action was. Bebhinn was 7 months pregnant, so of course they were having a second breakfast, and Rolin decided to join them.

Ian & Bebhinn had the most gorgeous bespoke wedding clothes, including custom wedding rings, by Anna Lindsay MacDonald Contemporary Jewelry. I know I don’t usually post detail shots, but the way they were set up in Bebhinn’s sewing room was just irresistible, don’t you think?

The flowers, by Van Harten & Tossell, were gorgeous, and look at that pocket square! This was a first for me, and I loved the look of it so much!

Now… One of my favourite moments was when Ian & Bebhinn got dressed. They had joked around and said they wanted to do a fake “First Look” because they thought it was super cheesy and funny and, to be frank, Ian thought a real first look was sort of a fake thing to do…

But when they got dressed, Ian needed help with his tie, and Bebhinn needed help with her dress. Being pregnant can restrict your movements, obviously, so they helped one another out… And the moment the dress came on and Bebhinn stepped back – so Ian could see how she looked – he was overcome with emotion! It was a real first look! I was soooooo happy.

Then they did the fake first look too (posted on my instagram - check it out) and we all laughed.

But boy, was I satisfied when the accidental, real first look happened. That’s the thing about a first look. It’s not the set-up that matters. It can be inside, outside or upside down. It’s the fact that YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED TODAY, GUYS. And when folks see each other all dressed up and ready to go, well, the only thing more exciting is actually doing it!

We piled the wedding things into the car and drove towards Le Select Bistro, BUT FIRST we made a stop at the bench where Bebhinn & Ian had their very first date. These two met online, and sat on the most random bench for a cup of tea… The rest is history.

Friendship and community is very important to Ian and Bebhinn, and their wedding reflected that.

They both baked pies for the dessert table, and six of their friends brought pies ranging from gluten free to vegan (for Ian) to full (extra) butter. They also chose to make their wedding favours as part of the West End Food Coop Canning Share, which is closed now, but taught about canning, while helping farmers and the community.

Finally the big moment.

Played in by Bebhinn’s BFF, the ceremony was officiated by the lovely Martin Frith, and included a ring-warming ceremony. The wedding rings were passed from hand-to-hand through every guest, to bless them and infuse them with positive vibezzz. I have seen this ritual before but honestly, the guests were so moved, and the love was so palpable, I can guarantee those rings are powerful enough to move mountains.

The readings were sweet. The vows were funny. The kiss was triumphant. This wedding ceremony filled my heart.

We sneaked out to the back parking lot of Le Select so the newlyweds could have a few moments alone. Laughing and “We did it!”-ing, then squeezed together, with smiles as big as watermelons. And the baby started to kick. It was a happy happy moment, and I’m so lucky to have been there documenting.

Making our way back to the party, the evening that followed was delicious food, moving and inspiring speeches (the best man’s included mention of meeting Ian in a women’s studies – like, can these people be my best friends right now, please?!), much laughter, tears, and all-around celebration.

Bebhinn & Ian, words can’t describe how honoured I am, that you picked me to document your life in this way. I am grateful for the opportunity, and for the thoughtfulness, kindness and love that you have chosen to guide your life with. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Kate
xo

Thank you to the creative team:
Hair & Makeup: Tanya Phillipovich
Favours: West End Food Co-op
Flowers: Van Harten and Tossell
Rings: Rings by Anna Lindsay MacDonald Contemporary Jewellery and necklace by Heather Rathburn
Groom’s Suit: Indochino, vegan shoes by Novacas
Officiant: Martin Firth, Ceremonies with Choice
Venue: Le Select Bistro
Wedding Dress: Designed by Black Crane, custom alterations by Lori McMahon

2018 was a magical year.

I witnessed the beginning of life, and the end.

I documented happy tears, sad tears, a 3 year-old’s accidentally-bit-my-own-finger tears.

I witnessed motherhood in the deep, quiet content of bonding during baby feeding, the it’s-not-quite-working very newborn breastfeeding, and the tumultuous toddlers doing yoga while eating feeding.

I observed dads kissing-better said bitten finger, and various other upsets. And granddads. And grandmothers!

I photographed best friends getting married, not getting married, making out, not making out, supporting one another, scream-laughing, chugging, doing the limbo, crying together, and just being present.

I could go on.

But instead, here are some photographs I made.

I can’t wait to post each of these sessions in full, but in the meantime please contact me if you want to see more.

It’s been a while since I posted a Year in Review, but here are some old ones, if you want to see:
2014 - the year of San Francisco
2013 - the year I started Sweetheart Empire!

And Happy New Year!

- Kate
xo

When Elizabeth and Tom suggested Leslie Spit for engagement photos, I was thrilled. Have you been there? If not, go immediately! FYI this is also known as Tommy Thompson Park, and there’s a light house, and you may or may not be able to make a camp fire (*ahem, not endorsing illegal activities, just saying). Any time of year, this reclaimed land on Toronto’s east-side waterfront is home serene, natural beauty – including a bird sanctuary, wild flowers, and biking, walking, and jogging for miles. We went at sunset (obviously!) and couldn’t have asked for a more magical setting.

…But actually we could have asked for more, and we did! You see, Tom and Elizabeth are a very special pair.

These are two of the most interesting and talented humans you’ll meet.

I first met Elizabeth when she had recently finished blogging 52 weeks of DIY projects. Yes, I said fifty-two. And this is also how I met the inimitable Shannon Lee Simmons (who later became my accountant). Some people’s awesomeness is hard to do justice in words, so just scroll down to the juggling photos, to get an understanding of why these two hold a special place in my heart.

Thank you, Tom & Elizabeth for putting your trust in me to do your engagement and wedding photos. It has been an unending pleasure!

Check out Tom & Elizabeth’s epic bicycle-powered, western-themed farm wedding in Prince Edward County!